Robot Ninja Whores (And sometimes Pirates and Zombies, ZOMG!!!111shift1)

The “Transformers Music Label Frenzy & Rumble playing earphone” sounds like an awesome contraption which ever way you spin it. It looks even better than it sounds. On sale in Japan July 19th, 2007 with a price tag of ¥3,950 This is the first of our awesome Transformer posts today.

More than meets the ear…

I can’t post this video. I can’t even post a photo. All I can post is this diagram I drew in Photoshop. There’s no equality because I’m not sure if it equals fun, awesome, or gross. You be the judge.
It involves a robosapien, a dildo, and a whore.

Link

The crazy UK folk are at it again, specifically in Liverpool. It seems there’s a pigeon problem costing the city of Liverpool a ton of money and human resources cleaning up after the pesky birds. The RoBOPs, or Robotic Birds of Prey, will be deployed to scare off the pigeons.

This is probably the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard of. They could probably just as easily use a real doll to scare off pigeons. I think the city of Liverpool needs a new Monorail while their at it.

Robo Falcons? Yes please!

iRobot’s Three Laws to protect humans:

• Roombots must not suck up jewelry or other valuables, or through inaction, allow valuables to be sucked up.
• Roombots must obey vacuuming orders given to it by humans except when such orders would conflict with the first law.
• Roombots are authorized to protect their own ability to suction dust and debris as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.

I want one (Via Engadget).

Scientists at Tufts University have created robots that mimic a caterpillar… instead of a sorority girl, say in her early 20s (complete with beer bong & funnel). These caterpillar-like simple machines are soft and squirmy, capable in moving in a variety of directions. They believe the applications for such a device will include hunting landmines and repairing machinery in “hard to reach spots.” They can even diagnose and treat illness! You can’t say that about sorority girls. I bet they can catch a large catfish too.

Dr. Barry Trimmer is one of the research scientists that created the sillicon catepillar. The advance will ensure us that SkyNet will be operational by 2002, then dominating earth by 2029. Wait, that didn’t happen yet? Then maybe a Cherry 2000 for everyone in the year… 2000!

Not a sex bot… yet

We’ve scoured the Internet at at 2AM, we found this nifty exposé on Monkey vs Robot. While we are most definitely rooting for the Robots, obviously it brings some humor to the whole superiority of beings thing–like which came first, Monkey or Robot? Or, which is more powerful? Monkey or Robot. In a cage match, which would win? Monkey or Robot? I could go on, but I’m lazy and you probably don’t give a shit.

Mildly amusing, I assure you.

Monkey Robot Ninjas? Ninja Robot Monkeys? Robot Monkey Ninjas?

TOO FUCKING GOOD TO NOT SHOW!!! Celebrate something else on Independence Day besides Danielle Carlson’s birthday and you know… our country’s birthday.

Did I hear some transforming noises? Are they real? Schwhat?

Transformers YouTube Link

Bonus Link: Transformers TV spots I’ve been seeing for the past few weeks (also at YouTube.com)

Let’s forget everything you know about propulsion and go back two centuries. Had George Lucas been alive back then, he may have powered R2-D2 using steam! Imagine a Star Wars universe with steam powered X-wings, B-wings, even Boba Fet’s Jet Pack! Okay, maybe that’s really unrealilstic, but then again, so is Star Wars you fucking nerd.

This guy has developed an R2-S2 (Steam Too). Complete with pressure gauges and wood and brass features! It’d make steam punk proud.

R2-Steam Too for all practical purposes

Yep. You know that face you have while having sex? Yep. I found this disturbing C3PO tape dispenser on RetroBlast! today and after a little searching, I found a site that’s selling them. I really can’t say much about it, except that it’s sold out. I think it’s vintage and it must definitely be in limited quantity. Did people actually buy this? Is he taking a dump or is he waiting for you to tug on his robot wang?

Sold Out (luckily)

[via RetroBlast!]

Autobots, Roll Out