Robot Ninja Whores (And sometimes Pirates and Zombies, ZOMG!!!111shift1)

IBM’s future super computer is so fast, it’ll be faster than the top 500 super computers in the world on the Top500 Supercomputer list… combined. This is like giving the keys of your new Porsche to your kids, and telling them to only drive to school. WTF are you doin? Of course they’re gonna take their slutty teen ho-bags for a spin.

Gizmodo reports:

• If each of the 6.7 billion people on earth had a hand calculator and worked together on a calculation 24 hours per day, 365 days a year, it would take 320 years to do what Sequoia will do in one hour.
• 20 petaflops could offer a 50x improvement in our capability to predict earthquakes, allowing scientists to predict an earthquake’s effects on a building-by-building basis across an area as large as Los Angeles County.
• 20 petaflops could also provide a 40x improvement in our capability to monitor and forecast weather. This would allow forecasters to predict local weather events that affect areas 100 meters to one kilometer in size, down from their current ten-kilometer ability.

20 petaflops could also help me watch porn on my iPhone without crashing it… Oh, if only life were that simple.

I’m sure that giant robots are in our future. Gizmodo has already called it.

Gizmodo is like Skynet

Recently, I wrote a review on Yelp.com on how to defend against zombies from a Costco. There are zombie survival kits out there–just take a look at the amazing items from Amazon.com to procure before the onslaught of zombie devistation!

Zombie Survival Kits, Now on sale.